Finally realizing that I’m the party planner of my family is a bit bitter sweet…let’s look at today, and then why I am shocked.
Mother’s Day 2014 – This was the most amazing thing I could have asked for, it started yesterday Boo and I went on a girl scout field trip, hubs was taking Harm & Tater to his moms for a visit…I return home and find my parents in my front yard – all new plants along foundation and weeds dug out of front yard. This desperately needed to be done, when we moved in 2 summers ago, the sellers had just planted new shrubs along the foundation, but they died…we tried planting new plants last year and they also died. The front of our house faces the south, and has direct sunlight all day not to mention there really isn’t anything blocking the sun hitting the front of our brick house so basically if you wanted to cook a brick oven pizza you may be about to use my front yard. I was dreading doing the dig-up and re-plant so I was so grateful to see my parents had done this task for me! Hubs thinks this day, and most, are lame and useless. And I never want much, but its nice just to have one day where you feel like a Queen. Last night he rounded up the 3 girls and made cards. Which is a HUGE step for him, as he is not crafty by any means. This morning I got many hand-made cards from the girls, which I LOVED! Then he made breakfast for the girls, and me – again I LOVED. And then Boo “took” my mom & I to lunch on his dime. Now this was my kind of day…not some “stuff” you bought just to “give” me something, but time together, love from the girls & hubs…this was the ultimate Mother’s Day.
…now the part of why I’m shocked…let’s take a look at history
June 2004: My parents 25th wedding anniversary, I was living out of my parents home but within a 10 min drive of their house, my older (by 2 years) sister was home from college for the summer. I planned a surprise party for my parents, coordinating the invites, how to get them out of the house, the food, the booze, the hotel accommodations for out-of- towners – which is anyone related to me – and of course most importantly how to get them out of the house. My sister was a brain to bounce ideas off of, and a financial partner. Went off without a hitch!
Jan 2007: My mom’s 50th birthday, I was still living within minutes of my parents, but had just had my first daughter 6 weeks premature about 10 weeks prior to the party. Again planned it all, as my sister was now living out of state where she had attended college. Again went off without a hitch!
**side note: after both of these events my mom always said she didn’t know but she knew something was up because my sister and I were “getting along” lol. We are sisters, we love each other, but we’ve never been the bff sisters.
May 2012: My sister’s 30th birthday – now remember she lives out of state, in a city I have never resided. I began brainstorming and researching right after she turned 29, because I had no idea how I was going to pull this one off. I began planning, and enlisting the help of my mother and a friend of my sister’s who lived in the same town. I eventually got this party planned and again sister was shocked and went off without a hitch!
June 2013: Last summer – my dad’s 60th birthday, now this one was quite challenging because my dad is VERY skeptical of everything. I had to plan for a long time, and coordinated several people to make this work. First I had to figure out how to get him to take the day off work, because at this time he was working a job that he occasionally worked weekends. This is where my sister came in handy, I had her call and tell him she was coming to town this weekend because she was out of town on business the weekend following his birthday. Now as an adult my dad never had a close local friend, but he had lots of fraternity brothers that he kept in regular touch with. As a side note – grown men revert back to college frat days even when they’re 60 with grandkids. He knew nothing was going on until maybe a few hours before the party. Remember I said he was always on alert? (I think this is where I get it) He thought something may be up so he started checking for clues…he “noticed” a couple of my parents coolers were missing from the attic…now he had no reason to be inventorying the attic but he was. So he might have know we were going to have a party…but he had NO idea who was going to be there. Never the less he was SURPRISED! Frat brothers, relatives, former co-workers, and of course his buddy (my daughter).
So that brings us to current times…March 2014 I was due – the big 3-0 was coming whether I was ready or not. Birthday comes…and goes, with barely a blip on the radar. UGH! My co-workers were about my only celebration – balloons, cake, flowers, desk wrapped in caution 30 tape, and of course lots of fun cards. Now I had realized about a month prior to my birthday that I wasn’t having a party because my sister had to undergo planned surgery (not elective – had to and fairly swiftly). My parents we down and were with her for this, my dad stayed an additional 4 weeks to help her get around and take care of her 2 dogs, my mom was home for my birthday. But hubs – didn’t really do anything either, I had flowers delivered to my work and we went to dinner with my mom & daughter the day after. Otherwise there was nothing…and up until now I have been rather bitter about it, kinda like “seriously people? you couldn’t even send me a card?” I guess I’m still a bit bitter but I have been trying to tell myself that I can’t be upset, it’s not worth it.
Today is the day I realized that I’m the “party planner” of the family…no one planned my any sort of party because they don’t do that. They may assist, or throw money in to help, but to plan is not in their blood. I guess this is good and bad – the good is when its party planning time I don’t really have any competition, the bad is when it’s my turn unless I plan it it isn’t happening.